Live Blogging of the JACK BAUER POWER HOUR: Hour 6

Yeah. Trying it on here again.

Haven't watched Prison Break since the first two episodes of the season. Sorry.

Previosly on 24: KABOOM! And I'm still shocked with how awesome the ending was last episode.

OMG, I want Jack Bauer to leave my outgoing message on my cell phone.

Fayed, McCarthy (australian), Walid, Assad, Philip Bauer, Grae or GRAEM Bauer.

How the HELL does a family name one child Jack and one GRAEM. Somebody's the milkman's son.

11:00am and 12:00pm

President Wayne is still talking. So that's how long in between episodes? AH! Look! There's Chad Lowe. Pretty. Dumped and pretty.

Tom is not pleased about President Wayne promising that these security measures are temporary. Karen, looking more and more like my therapist, confronts Tom about his twitchy ways. "Bleeding heart liberal." Ah shut up. (CLIP)

Oooh. Karen raises her voice and it's good! Very good. See? People are better yelling on this show.

Tom talks to Chad Lowe about getting rid of Karen. Hillary Swank's ex-husband has something up his sleave.

Back at CTU, Nadia gets a hand tied behind her back as all Muslims get an extra layer of securtiy put on them. Message anyone?

Gray is a little whiny bitch! I never doubted that but this is REALLY A show! "Growling gasps" is what he's taking. Thank you Closed Captioning. Dad vanished because of a Gray screw up. He references McCarthy and how he hired him because he had good references. Good references? Yeah, I've got a shiny letter of recommendation so you wanna give me a non-proliferation job? The nuke was gotten from Gray and his whiny ass. They didn't tell anyone else because they're dealing with it in a more efficient and effective way. Yeah. Since it worked out so well last season and thus far this season... keep going with that.

Jack plays Simon Says with his brother as they get up to go to McCarthy's office. The look between Rena Sofer (Marilyn) and Jack? A little steamy. Jack calls Chloe, looking for some techno back-up and to let Bill know what's going down. Gray whines that Jack's selling him and their dad out. You may keep a clean house Gray, but I wouldn't trust you to "handle" the nuclear bomb that has already gone off and whatever else is coming next. (CLIP)

COMMERCIAL

A bunch of talk in the debriefing room between Bill, Milo, Nadia and Morris. Whatever.

Gray and Jack banter. Jack shows some care regarding the attention that might be put upon The Family. The Bauer family. Gray talks about loyalty to family. DUDE JUST SAID HOW HE SHOULD'VE KILLED JACK INSTEAD OF GIVING HIM TO THE CHINESE!!! Ass.

Darren McCarthy and woman. Woman complaining. Sensibly though. McCarthy's getting some business done regarding more detonators. (CLIP) Look who might have an anger management problem? Fayed calls him and McCarthy hangs up on him after yelling. Hanging up on a terrorist? Wow. Balls of steel. Or vegemite.

CTU. Milo gets suspicious about Nadia not doing something fast enough. Why? Because that's where we're at in the season. Questioning loyalty. Milo looks way too pretty. Note, never say "with all due respect." Whatever you say next will be fucking you in the ass.

Thanks Milo. We now know that Nadia has lived in this country since she was two years old and is a registered republican. He makes his feelings known about the religious/racial profiling going on and about the hand tied behind Nadia's back. Bill calls in a favor to Karen.

He-man Woman Hater's Terrorist Club. Sharing of information from the outside. Walid asks a few too many questions but somehow easily gets out of the suspiciouns.

Bunker. "All these people will come forward to testify." What the fuck is going on. Tom and Hillary Swank's ex-husband are pulling something off which will apparently move Karen to resign. Tom's got info on something Bill did. KAREN BRINGS OUT THE BIG GUNS AND MAKES ME LOVE HER!!! (CLIP)

Tom explains how Karen is fucking up his cabbage patch (old Chasing Amy reference) and that she needs to get out of his way or else a whole list of crew members are going to testify that she smoothed over a gray-area "mistake" that Bill had made 14 months ago regarding Fayed being released from a detention facility. Note: Was this when we thought Fayed was good? This is getting confusing. Tom has a great line after Karen calls him an asshole. (CLIP) Never said I was anything otherwise.. or something that sounds cooler than that. Can we super impose Hillary Swank's ex-husband's face on top of Peter McNichol?

COMMERCIAL

Morris is annoying Nadia about doing things slowly. People bothering me always makes things go faster. Milo's got the hots for Nadia and is showing her that by doing some tech thing that results in her working under his name.... aka not be under the extra layer of protection. He lets her borrow HIS arm since she has one tied behind her back.

Bunker. Karen is giving in!!! NOOOOO!!!! And this will not happen. One, it's not a Palmer thing to accept at this point but also because they're in a frakkin' underground bunker. Yep, President Wayne is not letting this happen. Karen fights for him to let her go and gets teary about it. Please don't let this happen. She wants to be transported back to LA. Yea that we might get some CTU on CTU action but BOO on it being because Karen resigns from Tom's Tom-foolery.

Hillary Swank's ex-husband (who I don't like right now!) bumps into her as she's leaving. Wow. Not at ALL obvious that you're a slimy little weasel. Leaving for commercial, we're left with a shot of Tom Lennox that has Dick Cheney feelings all over it.

COMMERCIAL

Car by car, Jack and Gray go through the parking lot of McCarthy's office. Now thanks to FOX promo people, we know that in the next 20 minutes we'll see Jack's dad. So... he's in this buidling.

He-man Woman haters Club (detention facility), Walid apparently learned misdirection from his summer's spent interning with David Blane.

310 597 3781, real life 24 Nextel phone number. Hey, isn't Jack supposed to be using a SPRINT phone?

Via Chloe we find out that these folks AREN'T woman haters.. or terrorists. Or whatever. (CLIP) We're gonna take Walid out? Might not want to yell that with soldiers around.

Crap. Heydar (cell phone guy) realizes that Walid stole his phone and just as Sandra and OZ guy are going to get him out, the club starts beating the shit out of him. This beating-the-shit-out-of-him actually does something. Arabics know how to beat people down. We should outsource all of our body work out to them.

COMMERCIAL

CTU guys are waiting outside. Gray and Jack break into the office (well, Jack does. Gray stands there) of McCarthy. Now we haven't SEEN McCarthy for awhile so he's probably not here. Since there are ten minutes left, we know that Jack's dad is there. THANKS STUPID FOX PROMO DEPARTMENT.

McCarthy started deleting files shortly after the bomb went off. Some intention-filled rustling occurs leading Jack to handcuff Gray to a bookcase and Jack to go search for things. Who do we find? Dad. Yeah.

Dad and Jack. I enjoy this interaction. Apparently no one in the family got Dad's height. Dad wants to put himself out there (Jack wasn't there when Dad needed him?) to protect Graem. Graem is an ass and Jack nearly cold cocks him (again). Wow, Graem really sucks and double crosses his dad. Wow. (CLIP)

McCarthy is safe with his gal pal elsewhere and Jack and his Dad are handcuffed. Just as I think that there's some hope with those CTU guys waiting outside, we see them dead in their van (that has a yellow air freshner). Daddy Bauer suddenly realizes that there IS A LINE and that Gray crossed it way back when. (CLIP) "Jack forced my hand," Gray says. Call him when it's done. Onto meet their deaths (not really) while shackled inside the baddies' van.

Aint It Cool News 24 info up

Hercules from Aint It Cool News has a normal spoiler-but-not-really-spoilerly post up about tonight's 24 episode.

Anyone wanna help me with web design so I can get my shit together? Anyone?

This is a pic for my podcast... things are kind of a mess with me and blogspot so....

Episode 2.1 (parts 1 & 2) and Episode 2.2

Click here to get your own player.



I'm ready to take a break. Anyone else with me?

Blogging fun: Blogs4Bauer

Blogs 4 Bauer is a great balls-to-the-wall testosterone filled site!!! I thank them for their support and gladly support them. Our political views are slightly different, but out love of 24 is uniting and equal!!!

That said, there's an awesome post over there about their Kill Counter (a wonderfully reliable go-to during the season featuring descriptions and details of each Jack Bauer Powered Kill) and a POINT SYSTEM they've devised for the new season.

I love all references to Jack's Manly KnapSack so go and CHECK IT OUT!!! Tell them I sent 'cha.

24 Weekly Debriefing on Digg.com

Digg on our 24 fan podcast on the Digg.com site for the 24 Weekly Debriefing

And have you SEEN the Kiefer Sutherland interview and pictures with Men's Vogue???? Quite wonderful. There's a good quote in there about how the cast and crew of 24 have become his family. THAT's the kind of shit which makes me fall madly in love with a show and a production style. Kevin Smith does the same thing for me. Yes, show BUSINESS and not show FRIENDS but personally, I think those close knit communities add something to the show... if anything, it helps the longevity of the series and THAT we ALL love!

24 Weekly Debriefing: Preview episode

Click here to get your own player.



Preview episode featuring the Larry King interview with the cast of 24.

And BTW, this is for Google so that thi site can be higher up in the rankings for "24 Podcast."

Podcast, 24, Podcast, 24. Podcast, 24? 24 Podcast. Podcast, 24.

Speaking of that, check out Joe's 24 the Podcast. The BASTARD got a press preview disc of the first four episodes... he's spoilerific. Seriously, Joe's podcast kicks ass so go and check him out (just come back to me because you know that Momma is the one who REALLY loves you).

24 Weekly Debriefing: Happy 2007!

So the past year is done and gone with the accompaning Season 5 DVD collection (MY Christmas was very merry, thank you). This can only mean ONE THING.... SEASON SIX SOON PREMIERES!!!

I'm excited and trying to get this blog and the podcast as a whole all brand new and shiny for you all. We're gonna have some brand new shiny features and uh... the goal of regularly scheduled shows EVERY TUESDAY MORNING (with a possible Thursday show)!!!

There's a new phone number to call in for the show but for the moment, just rest up, drink fluids (type of fluids up to you), and spread the word about the podcast!

If there's a new 24 podcast or blog that you like out there, send me a message at KBarrick@gmail.com or post something here. I'll put up a link for it... ONE BIG HAPPY 24 FAMILY!!!

Live Blogging of the JACK BAUER POWER HOUR: Hour 23 and 24!

This is the end. My only friend the end.

I'm scared. They better not let me down.

5 a.m-6 a.m.

5:02 Russian's in the sub. Craig Bierko talks about why they're doing what they;re doing. Oh look! Audrey's using Cysco systems! Must use cisco systems.... There's the guy with huge eyebrows. Audrey's asking them to sink the submarine or at least to think about it. And yes Brett, the fnumbers of that file started with 42.

Jack's at the sub. One guard. Written by Evan Katz and Howard Gordon. Directed by that guy... that main guy Jon Cassar or something like that. The guy who's THE MAN.

The missles can go off within 20 minutes or so. Friendlies could still be in the sub (somehow?!?!?). And there is one. Oh, and Bierko wants a gun.

Look! There's a guy in the sub! Who somehow survived! I think he's hispanic so maybe ONE minority will be able to kick some ass. The Sentox is cleared from the sub so we can finally lay THAT subplot down for good. Jack instructs the sacrificial lamb to go and let them in. And to kill a guy with his utility knife. The kid is freaked.

Big TV screens at the ranch are lit up again. Logan's back to his usual freaked-out-ness. Novick's predicting doom on his slanted angle.

Nutjob calls Aaron. He's got to get off the ranch somehow and she can't talk to Novick because of this silly little submarine thing. Sacrificial Lamb calls back to Jack. He's right handed. Jack's now telling him to insert knife A into neck B. Step by step killing. The guy HAS to have been trained to kill people at some kind of boot camp. "Cut him deep and cut him fast." Alright then. The words of wisdom of Jack Bauer. And with a few extra strokes (practice swings I'm sure), Sacrificial Lamb has made his first kill! Son, you've now become a man. Circumcision happens tomorrow.

Jack and the gang are about to go in the sub when the missle bay opens. They have seven minutes left before they launch. Or, if you're relying on CC, four minutes.

Jack now instructs Sacrificial Lamb how to sneak up on a bunch of Russians with guns and video cameras. Bierko is doing his normal subtle targetting by making huge red circles on a map. Diversion (aka loud noise) completed. Bierko takes some men to check it out. Why the men weren't checking it out BEFORE? Who knows. Not important.

Some Agent McCullough is going to signal Jack with a mirror, Missles armed. Jack prepped to STICK A KNIFE IN THE GUY'S THROAT! Awesome! Bile and blood coming out of his mouth and everything.

We still trust Henderson enough to have HIM disarm the missles. Why Chloe can't do this is beyond me at this point. I should start drinking so I don't think of the logic or plot holes. McCullough is down. Russians shot him. Henderson taking his sweet ass time while Chloe plays timer.

FIGHT! HIT! Bullet to Bierko's shoulder. Steam to bad guy's face. Jack BREAKS THE GUY'S NECK WITH HIS THIGHS!!! Awesome. Never leg wrestle with Jack Bauer.

And Henderson has run away long enough to get behind Jack with the gun he gave him. THE GUN WITH NO BULLETS IN IT! "Good for you Jack." You taught him right. Stand-off on the submarine! "That's the way it works" and SHOOT SHOOT!! Henderson's down and Sacrificial Lamb has a whole new outlook on life. Better thank Jack's sweet ass that he didn't shoot you too.

Commercial. So after the first act of the first hour, Russians are eliminated, Henderson executed by Jack (nice), and we've seen three injuries to throats (Sacrificial Lamb and his first kill, Jack with Vomiting Blood man and Jack with Bierko and his LEGS OF STEEL!). And GOD the X-men movie looks lame. Just watched the second one again and damnit, why does this one have to suck?

5:25 Some kind of authority figures arrive at the sub. Jack calls Bill. Tells him that Henderson fired on him and then covertly talks to Chloe about....

GOING AFTER LOGAN!!! He needs to modify some field equipment and asks if she's with him on this. This being the assasination of the president. An asshole president but still.

Novick and Logan gloat about the threat being over like THEY did something. Logan wants to make some remarks next to Palmer's dead body! ASS-HOOOOOOOOLE! Novick goes off to write a statement...or most likely get someone else to write a statement. Crazy music follows as NutJob talks to Novick. he wants to know what this is about. Again.

Logan and Graham Cracker Crust talk. They're happy that Henderson's dead. And Mr. Bauer will be taken care of. Grrr.

Aaron and NutJob show the dead SS agent's body in the trunk. This feels awfully Bonnie and Clyde-y. The recording is brought up again and then pushed aside. Novick's finally got the idea that tricky stuff is really going on. And getting Aaron off the ranch is still somehow important. Aaron and NutJob? Kissy face? Kissy face! COME ON! COME ON! DO IT!

OOOHHH!!!! For some reason I'm completely fufilled by that. That step of Aaron's towards Martha. Hand on the arm. Fantastic. Said it all... wow. Wow. Wow. Why can't Jack's love life be written like that? That kinda makes me in even more awe of Aaron.

5:38 Jack calls Novick as he and Aaron are unloading a body. Bringing President Logan to justice. Jack's going to try and get a confession from Logan? He cannot be allowed to remain in office for one more day. Wow. CrAZAAY situation.

Karen Hayes Huges looks weird after a call. Oooo, she's being called into Washington (probably by Milesy Asswipe) and they're looking for scapegoats. Chloe's bringing in someone named Morris who's selling Women's shoes. Chloe's ex-husband. Wait, Chloe's ex-husband? And he's British!?! And he's kinda cute? And HOW did that start?

"I could but it'd be a terrible waste of my charm." I really love this guy. I love him love him love him. But still have no clue as to how that ever started.

Novick talks to NutJob...oh, this is what I think it is. Hey look at that! In the background on the tv is footage from the Season 2 finale. Crazy. Nut Job's got to figure out a way to delay Logan's departure. And that way's gonna be yucky. Saw a clip on Headline News last week and didn't know where it came from. Now... Now I think I know. I should get some fizzy water and crackers ready for when I vomit.

5:53 Jack's at the ranch. Yes, people move absurdly fast at the most conveinient times. Aaron and Jack meet. Jack, I'm your father. Come on. Say it. You're SO HIS DAD! Aaron seems absurdly cool with getting Jack onboard the chopper so he can hurt Logan.

Martha to Logan. Okay, she's vomiting a little in her mouth as she apologizes to Logan. And she has to swallow asking for his forgiveness about saying he broke her heart and she hated him. She's SUCH a bad liar. Looking away and everything. Wow, that pillow is interesting. And that panel of wood. Ew. She still needs him and loves him. Yep. She's got the taste of vomit in there. Now Logan's getting all emotional...well, what emotions are possible for a traitory jerk like he is.

And they kissed. Ew. She's trying her best seductress act.... touching him. Undoing his shirt and tie. Ew. Kissing again. Ew...no tongue THANK GOD! And appealing to his ego and tiny penis, she gets him to stay. Hopefully she always cries during sex 'cause this isn't going to fun.

Jack and Aaron in.... a locker room. How far is Jack willing to go? As far as he has to. He better be for what Martha's got to be going though. For what I'M GOING THROUGH WATCHING THAT!!!

Ew,

And commercial for Miami Vice? Ew.

Last hour folks. LAST HOUR!

And they're showing a recap. A recap of the show we just saw. Haven't they realized that they'll always have a 2 hour finale. But the shots of Chloe's ex-husband are worth it. What can I say!?! I've got a thing for accents. And they show the ewwy scene again.

6 a.m to 7 a.m.

Well, that was fast. Quickie indeed. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.
Morris calls Chloe "sweetheart." Crazy.

So it looks like Jack's going to be pilot. Aaron working from the gym locker room still. And he's probably going to take out this pilot. Nope, leaving that for Jack. LOL. Jumps on him like a 2-year old. Knocks the guy out. Now Jack's got the pilot helmet on and looks like a storm trooper from the neck up. Written by Robert Cochran and directed by Jon Cassar.

6:06 Nut Job's got to find a reason not to get on the chopper. And appealing to his ego AGAIN (god that man must have a small penis to be compensating so much), she gets him to go on without her. Yes Logan. Climb aboard the chopper of DOOM! Novick and Nut Job stare at each other on the ground as Jack pulls a gun on the chopper pilot. He's got a gun.

TAZERS! I have a message for you from the White House. A POCKET FULL OF TAZER!! It's nice to see Logan in cuffs. "Bad things happened." Yep Logan. And more bad things are GOING TO HAPPEN. He's just blathering on... blah blah blah and Jack's staring at him. "Damnit Bauer say something!" Hee hee.

Chloe's ex calls her "love." And I love him. Alright, they've landed abnormally soon at a printing press. Tazer to another guy and they'll all be out for the rest of the season. Seeing Logan shuffle his little feet alongside Jack is hilarious. My GOD! Logan's trying absolutely everything to get out of this. Jack's silence with all of this is fantastic.

The door-to-door salesman that is Chloe's ex-husband comes in and delivers whatever there is. Tells jack to call Chloe. Tells him using the pinky and thumb symbol. Alright. That's a little... strange.

Jack's got 10 minutes to get Logan to break before they're caught and inevitably arrested as traitors.

Commercial.

Okay. Just this situation is...awesome.
OH! And Allstate commercial. Palmer! PALMER!!! I'll be in good hands with you, Palmer.

6:18 There's that sunrise magic shot. This is all just real creepy. Logan a little tougher than Walt? Yeah I'm counting down the seconds until you crap your pants.

Jack's just going about this like a regular interrogation. This is....wow.
"This won't mean a thing!" If it ain't got that siwng!
I smell hatred. I smell showdown. I smell EMMY! Jack talks about the end of last year. Him having to fake his death and that the danger he was hiding from is him....

And Jack uses the power of monologue to try and get Logan to talk....shoot him! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! The other guys are here to take Jackdown and Logan's staring at Jack like he's Jesus.

Holy...holy shit. Solitary confinement. Holy Christ.

6:26 Call to Novick at the airbase. Novick to Nut Job tells her about Jack being in custody. Oh God. Oh God, does he know that Martha's early morning make-out session was a part of this.

OH DAVID PALMER! DAVID PALMER'S BODY! Okay, just a casket with a flag on it. Martha's breaking down. Crazy music starting. Martha starts yelling "You're a murderer!" She's taken away and Logan gives Novick an evil eye. Goes into a hangar with Martha and BASTARD! BITCH! BASTARD!

Logan searches Martha... I can't talk.... oh my God.

He'll fill her so full of drugs that she can't remember her name. Clean up. you're a mess....

Oh my God! I am speechless. That scene was marvelous and I will be haunted by Logan threatening Martha with the asylum stuff. Oh God. I am going to be on pins and needles until iTunes releases these episodes tomorrow. And ALIAS!!!

6:39 Logan salutes. Oh my God I want to kill him.

Chloe and a recording. Are they doing the same thing as Sherry did....

A conversation between the Martha and Logan. A listening device on Logan!

Attorney General to Secret Service agent. Doing something. Talking to other agents. SS agents approaching....Federal Marshalls that is. And there's the micro transmitter that recorded the conversation. Martha smirks! Novick smirks! OMG!

Audrey and Jack see each other and I never thought that I don;'t want to see this right now.

The guy who told Jack that Kim was calling is the main surgeon on Scrubs.

Jack! Phone! Chloraform! Audrey looking dumb! (I am SO not going to get any interviews on my podcast...I'm too snarky.) Blacking out!

6:53 Split screen bonanza and no Jack in the boxes.

Karen Hayes Hughes and Bill should make-out. OR GO ON A DATE! Bill smiles and getts happy for a second.

Bill gives Chloe a picture of her and Edgar. Sexy British Ex and Chloe go off together to "talk."

Audrey sees phone off the hook. Freaks.

Jack has the shit beat out of him! And it's the Chinese. And I thought tazers were bad!?!

Kill me? Kill him!?!

you're far too valuable to kill Mr. Bauer.

Holy shit. Chinese circle of pain. OMG. OMG. OMG.

24 Weekly Debriefing: Politics of 24

Because not all of you have Lexis Nexis, I'm just going to violate some kind of copyright law and post the article I mention in the podcast here. Donate to my legal defense fund at the podcast site.

The Politics of 24
by Christopher Orr
from The New Republic

It's 11:20 p.m., and agent Jack Bauer has had a very long day. In the morning, he worked to rescue the secretary of defense and his daughter (who also happens to be Bauer's girlfriend) from a terrorist kidnapping and Web-telecast execution. The afternoon was mostly spent unraveling a plot to melt down all of the nation's 104 nuclear reactors simultaneously. In his spare moments, Bauer shot a suspect during interrogation, held up a convenience store, turned a terrorist wife against her terrorist husband, had a shoot-out with a troop of corporate mercenaries, offered himself up as a hostage, killed an assassin posing as an FBI agent, and tortured his girlfriend's estranged husband for information--only to discover he didn't have any. (How awkward.) But no time for regrets. Air Force One has just been shot down by a stolen stealth fighter, and terrorists are on their way to retrieve the presidential nuclear codes from the wreckage, unless Bauer can get their first. "Right now, this country is under attack," he explains, as he choppers his way to the crash site, "and I've got a job to do."

So goes another day at the office on "24," Fox's breakout anti-terrorism action-drama. Now wrapping up its fifth season, the show plays like a breakneck rundown of Richard Clarke's apocalyptic nightmares: loose nukes, weaponized viruses, nerve gas attacks, assassination attempts, government conspiracies, terrorist cells and subcells. For those not yet on the edge of their seats, the urgency of these threats is further upped by "24"'s signature gimmick: The show takes place in "real time," with each episode constituting one hour-- complete with ticking clock bracketing commercial breaks--and each season adding up to a single, frenzied, 24-hour day.

Every era has its defining TV shows--popular fictions that, sometimes unintentionally, capture the temper of the times. The first half of the 1970s had the anti-traditionalist agitprop of "All in the Family"; the latter half, the traditionalist nostalgia of "Happy Days." In the 1980s, the crass, extraction-based wealth that we frowned upon in "Dallas" eventually gave way to the sleek, talent-based wealth we aspired to in "L.A. Law." The early '90s were captured by "Seinfeld," a show famously (and, as we would learn only later, blessedly) "about nothing." Then, as Bill Clinton's presidency sank into scandal and ushered in George W. Bush's, "The West Wing" epitomized the liberal flight from reality into a rosier universe where the Man from Hope kept it in his pants.

Initially, "24" seemed destined to miss its cultural moment--not by being irrelevant, but by being too relevant. The show's first half-dozen episodes were shot in the spring and summer of 2001 but didn't air until early November, eight weeks after the reality of September 11 had superseded their fictions. At first, audiences stayed away, not yet prepared to be entertained by tales of terrorism. (It couldn't have helped that the very first episode featured a passenger jet being blown up mid-flight, killing all on board.) But, following this bumpy start, "24" has managed to turn its weekly strip-mining of our national anxieties into gold, garnering fistfuls of awards and ratings to die for. Kiefer Sutherland, who stars as superspy Jack Bauer, just signed a reported $40 million deal to return for three more seasons, which would make him the highest-paid actor in a TV drama. "24" has arguably become the defining entertainment of the political moment, earning accolades from observers as diverse as Frank Rich and Pat Buchanan. Rolling Stone just declared it the "central moral-political drama of our time."

Like any cultural phenomenon so self-consciously attuned to the zeitgeist, "24" has been widely dissected in efforts to augur the public mood. Conservatives, especially, have been quick to read the show as a political parable, with Bauer's often ruthless methods serving as a flattering proxy for the Bush administration's steadfast, whatever-it-takes posture. The American Spectator has applauded the show's "political and moral toughness"; The Washington Times exulted that it "identifies the terrorist enemy without flinching and lets the good guys fight to win--without apologies." Time's Joe Klein described it, more critically, as "the classic conservative fantasy--the myth of American competence and omnipotence."

But, irresistible as it may be for conservatives to claim "24" as a ratification of their post-September 11 worldview, it's not one. This is in part because the show's politics aren't conservative in any meaningful way. But, more importantly, it's because the show is beyond politics altogether--or, perhaps more accurately, beneath them. "24" capitalizes shamelessly on the post-September 11 mood, but, for all its topicality and moral theatrics, it has never really come to terms with post-September 11 reality.

American hero Jack Bauer is an ex-swat, ex-Delta Force commando working for the Los Angeles branch of the (fictional) Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU), an elite, high-tech CIA spinoff. As befits his training, he is a man of action: decisive, aggressive, and disinclined to play by the rules when he feels they're getting in the way. He never wavers, second-guesses, or gives in to criticism, instead doing whatever needs to be done to safeguard American lives, regardless of the costs. Conservative fans of the show frequently note the similarities between Bauer's disposition and that of a certain White House resident, and they claim that "24"'s popularity is evidence that, whatever the polls may say, Americans want someone like Bush to defend them in these troubled times. Buchanan has gone as far as to pronounce the president our "Jack Bauer in the war on terror."

But the contours of Bauer's character have far less to do with the demands of geopolitics than with the demands of genre. Put simply, the heroes of action films, books, and TV shows are almost always decisive, aggressive, and disinclined to play by the rules. One does not find many of them obsessed with rumination and consensus-building for the same reason that one finds few impetuous he-men in drawing room comedies: It doesn't work dramatically. It is no coincidence that, when political meaning is imputed to iconic action stars--John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Arnold Schwarzenegger--that meaning is nearly always "conservative." "24" actually takes this genre requirement one step further by making time itself the essential villain of the series: Individual terrorists come and go, but "24"'s ticking clock remains, counting ominously down toward one cataclysm or another. Little wonder that cautious deliberation is low on the show's checklist of virtues.

More fundamentally, those who wish to conflate Bauer and Bush misunderstand that, in heroic fiction--and, for all its tragic trappings, "24" is certainly this--the relationship between character and effect is reversed. Bauer is not a hero because he does whatever is necessary; whatever he does is necessary because he is the hero. When he performs a terrible act--the murder of a witness, the terroristdemanded execution of a CTU colleague--it's always clear that there was no other way to prevent a larger tragedy. Likewise, when he takes the path of mercy, it proves to be the correct one and another, less heartless solution to the dilemma will present itself. Unlike real-life decision-makers in general--and Bush in particular--Bauer has the considerable virtue of always being right.

Conservatives also point to Bauer's disturbing affinity for torture as a means to gather information, a trait that, thanks to Abu Ghraib and other recent revelations, is now apparently the undisputed (if perhaps unwanted) property of the GOP. But here, again, the show's purposes seem more narrative than political. Yes, Bauer will on occasion break suspects' fingers, step on their bullet wounds, electrocute them with table-lamp cords, or threaten to mutilate them with knives. But the roster of unfortunates tortured by Bauer and his colleagues is comically improbable. In addition to the familiar litany of low-level thugs, paid assassins, and suspected CTU turncoats, the president of the United States orders (with the show's evident approval) the torture of his national security adviser. The secretary of defense authorizes the torture of his own slacker son. And, of course, Bauer tortures his girlfriend's husband. Perversely, when the villainous masterminds at the center of "24"'s plots are captured, they are as often as not spared the graphic, extended punishment that the show otherwise metes out so promiscuously. The story offers reasons, of course: There isn't time, the bad guy is too tough to crack. But another underlying explanation for this reversal--in which people who would never be tortured are, and those who almost certainly would be aren't--is that the decision to torture someone known to be planning mass murder is relatively easy; the decision to torture the national security adviser or your girlfriend's hubby is so much more morally anguished, an opportunity, however implausible, for the show to advertise its hardheartedness. "We're not political," co-creator Joel Surnow recently explained. "But what we are is, we're hard-core."

Ultimately, the purpose of "24"'s systematic abuses of the flesh (as well as the often brutal deaths of characters both good and bad) is less to explore the justifiability of violence than to lend an air of realism and moral gravity to what is otherwise a cartoonish view of the war on terrorism. We live in an age when grittiness is frequently mistaken for truth, when a dark view of human nature is presumed to be an accurate one. As the Los Angeles Times recently noted of TV dramas, "death becomes a measure of a show's authenticity." With that currency, "24" can afford to purchase an awful lot of authenticity.

There are other details occasionally thrown out to support the idea that "24" is a conservative critique of our times, but they're less convincing still. Yes, there have been characters on the show who seem hatched from an Ann Coulter fever dream: a terrorist-coddling lawyer from "Amnesty Global" who prevents a much-needed interrogation; the secretary of defense's petulant lefty son, who has to be chided for his "sixth-grade, Michael Moore logic," et cetera. But their population is dwarfed, in both number and significance, by the cast of liberal bugaboos: the shadowy businessmen who nefariously appear to pull the strings of more than one president; the vice president so eager to start a war in the Middle East that he uses the Twenty-Fifth Amendment to remove the more cautious president; and so on. It's also hard to imagine it a coincidence that David Palmer, the wise, stalwart, honest president of the early seasons, is a Democrat, and that the Republicans who succeed him are a scandalmonger and a Nixonesque weasel who ultimately proves to be at the center of a conspiracy to manufacture evidence that will enable the deployment of U.S. forces abroad. "24" may swing right more often than such one-sided liberal wish-fulfillments as "The West Wing" and "Commander in Chief," but, on balance, its schizophrenic mix of political provocations still leans to the left.

Nonetheless, Frank Rich may want to hold off on that victory lap. Ultimately, the world that "24" envisions each week is less liberal or conservative than it is one from which political belief has been banished altogether. We're introduced to a strong Democratic president and a weak Republican one, but neither is, for example, recognizably hawkish or dovish with any consistency. The former sometimes demonstrates his strength through aggressive action (e.g., illegally detaining a journalist who might reveal a terrorist threat to the public) and sometimes through thoughtful restraint (resisting his vice president's war preparations). Likewise, the latter's weakness initially makes him appear overly cautious; only later do we learn he is behind a nefarious secret plot to extend U.S. hegemony in Central Asia. Character is everything; ideology, nothing.

Indeed, the entire show takes place in a peculiar political vacuum: September 11 appears to have happened (there's at least one reference to "GuantAnamo"), but there's no sign of Al Qaeda or the war in Iraq. Only two of the show's five seasons feature jihadist foes, and, in one case, they're the unwitting pawns of an American oil company exec. The rest of the time, the nation's safety is menaced by vengeful Serbs, Chechen separatists (again, caught up in a U.S. plot of which they know nothing), and a pissed-off ex-member of the British special forces. It's an odd but effective bait-and-switch: Though "24" trades upon post-September 11 anxieties for its sense of urgency and moral purpose, the world in which it takes place seems almost entirely untouched by September 11.

This contradiction between intended message and actual one extends to "24"'s underlying moral philosophy as well. The central mythos of the show is that Bauer is a superhuman patriot who will sacrifice anything for the good of the country. Except, of course, when he doesn't. In the very first season, Bauer is forced to weigh two conflicting duties: preventing terrorists from assassinating presidential candidate Palmer, on the one hand, and protecting the lives of his wife and daughter, whom the terrorists have taken hostage, on the other. And, far from privileging the former duty, Bauer repeatedly undermines Palmer's safety in his effort to keep his own loved ones alive. (His wife dies at the end of the season anyway, but he couldn't have prevented it.) One could argue that this elevation of the private over the public was appropriate in the first season, with its pre-September 11 origin and a terrorist plot that threatened only the life of a presidential candidate. But, as the stakes rise exponentially in subsequent seasons, the pattern repeats itself: Bauer's loved ones fall into harm's way in the midst of terrorist crises, and he does whatever it takes to save them--disobeying orders, diverting CTU resources, even jeopardizing national security.

Bauer is not alone. The question of public versus private duty is raised most explicitly in the third season, when the virus-wielding terrorist Stephen Saunders captures Michelle Dessler, the wife of CTU agent Tony Almeida. Saunders demands that Almeida allow him to escape a CTU siege or he will kill Dessler. Almeida saves his wife's life, but, in the process, endangers millions of others. And, while he is briefly imprisoned for treason, the show leaves no doubt that he did the right thing. As Bauer himself argues, citing Almeida's earlier work, "You should be putting a medal on him, not handcuffs." Of course, in all of these cases, everything works out: The loved one is saved, and the threat to the public is nonetheless averted.

That is not necessarily so, however, when a CTU character takes the opposite course and prioritizes patriotic duty over familial love. In season four, then-CTU chief Erin Driscoll is trying to juggle her job and her emotionally unstable young daughter, who is being cared for in the CTU infirmary. At just the moment Driscoll is scrambling to override the meltdowns of several nuclear reactors, the infirmary calls. Driscoll says it will have to wait. But when she arrives at the infirmary barely two minutes later, her daughter is dead, having somehow managed to slit her wrists right under the doctors' noses. It's hard to miss the point here: When your private and public obligations come into conflict, pay attention to the former.

Luckily, the terrorists also seem to prize the personal over the political. A series of otherwise ruthless, fanatical killers give up when Bauer threatens their children. Indeed, it frequently turns out that even the motives that lead the show's villains to attack the United States in the first place are more individual than ideological. The main baddie of the first season is a Serbian warlord who targets Bauer and Palmer because of their roles in a botched covert operation to take him down. In season three, Saunders's viral scheming is due to his bitterness at having been left behind by Bauer on that very same Balkan mission. And, in season five, a former CTU agent's involvement in the president's conspiracy is due in part to Bauer's having drummed him out of the agency for corruption. It all raises the possibility that Bauer could best safeguard the United States by moving elsewhere and bringing his collection of vendettas with him.

`24" is clever entertainment--riveting and occasionally thought-provoking. Is it the "central moral-political drama of our time"? Hardly. But, even if the saga of Jack Bauer is not a serious commentary on this anxious moment in American history, it does reveal a great deal about the seriousness of a culture that could mistake it for one.

After September 11, there was much talk of how we as a nation were going to shed our innocence and enter an age of greater common purpose, in which politics would cease to be petty and irony would be extinguished. Obviously, it didn't work out that way. The attacks wounded the American psyche, but they had precious little impact on American life. Though we pay lip service to the enormity of the attacks, we still drive the same cars and watch the same silly TV shows and engage in the same partisan squabbles.

"24" is, in some ways, the perfect cultural artifact for this post-September 11 moment. It extols patriotism but doesn't quite believe in it, preaches a self-sacrifice it practices only intermittently, and offers up a world in which the choices are always impossible but the answers are always right. On the surface, it flatters our belief that we're better now, more stoic and unselfish, committed to ideals larger than our individual wants and needs. But, below, it reassures us that it's OK to place our own households first, that politics is empty if not actively corrupt, and that belief in a cause will only lead to disillusion or betrayal.

It's been four and a half years since "24" first stepped out into the unexpected shadow of a national tragedy. But it remains to this day what it was from the beginning--the orphan of a more frivolous age, trying hard to prove it is tough and serious enough for the rigors of a post-September 11 world. Just like the rest of us.

Live Blogging of the JACK BAUER POWER HOUR: Hour 22

Hello. I'm writing for the podcast that I do! Woo-hoo. Anyways, this is what I do to get whatever I put into the podcast. Enjoy.

Hour: 4-5 a.m.
Well I certainly can't make any comparisons before the 24 clock and mine. 20 friggin' minutes late. Crap.
Recap: Miles is compelled to be an asshole. Let's see if he can get sodomized within the next hour.

4:02 Karen Hayes-Hughes, Jack, Bill and Chloe have all gathered in the briefing room and here we discover that...the recording is fucked! Jack's pissed at Chloe! She didn't do anything! and now the AG is ready to listen in. And the finger is now pointed at the ASSWIPE! Miles!

Holy crap! Jack's going after Miles! Grabs him by the throat with one hand! Excellent! And Miles betrayed everyone to get transferred over to the White House. To do... well, be an ass. Woo-hoo! Karen Hayes-Hughes bitch slaps him! Excellent! Still would've liked for him to get kneed in the balls.

Episode is written by David Fury and Sam Montgomery? I think that's the guy's last name.

4:06 AND NOW Traitor brass balls is pulling out of going after Jack! He's got that strength back in his voice. Jack, yep. Traitor Brass Balls knows that he's won.

Bierko gone. Only one guy left. Six guys attacked. Bierko had said something about a nerve gas canister. We're BACK to that!?! No wonder we had the "And in the beginning there was light" recap from last week.

4:08 Still don't really get what's going on. Bierko's taking off the Phantom patch. That means he's okay now and he'll die in a few. Happened with Tony. And I'm blaming 24 for the Cubs losing 12 out of the last 13 games! They killed the Cubs by killing Tony! And I will never get over it. I swear.

4:13 Nut Job takes her pills like a horse. Grabs her phone after staring at it like a mirage of water in the desert. Oh. It's Jack's Dad's phone. Aaron's. Yep. WE're gonna see Aaron hurt. Traitor Brass Balls comes into see Aaron! Says "Oh my God" when he sees him. Like he's surprised his people beat the shit out of him?

Ah, only Aaron could sound so calm and collected while bleeding and being tied up. Traitor Brass Balls is trying to convince him that there was no recording and making sure that Aaron's gonna drop it. Aaron! Woo-hoo! Not accepting the bull-shit! Turning the asshole down! And calls him "Charles" with that great sense of "I've lost all respect for you, you dick." I love Aaron. So much. This new SS agent says Aaron's loyalty is to David Palmer. Hell, I bet the men who wear hats believe more in Palmer now! SS Agent to go beat the crap out of Aaron.

Traitor Brass Balls to Graham Cracker Crust. Having a chat. Plans to take Jack out are in motion. Sure. Whatever. That will never happen. Novick runs into weird alley thing. Tells Logan about Bierko. So, does Traitor Brass Balls KNOW about this? Is THIS a part of the plan to get rid of Jack?

Back to CTU. No luck anywhere. And now we're back to Henderson. Karen Hayes Hughes and Bill are all in deep shit and the only thing left is Henderson. Bill asks "What would David Palmer want you to do?" So that's the new phrase.. WWDPD.

Jack into the room to chat with Henderson and offer a deal. Tells him about Bierko and Bierko's bruised ego. Craig Bierko's only attacking the U.S. because his mommy never hugged him. Henderson's sorry about Palmer but it had to be done. Grrr. I hate him. Henderson turns down immunity...but knows that since the recording is gone...so is his personal immunity. "You can't touch them. But they can touch you." There's the touching.

Henderson wants to vanish and now trusts Jack... God, the compromises Jack has to make. This is all in trade for Henderson to help capture Craig Bierko. Anything less than Bierko's head on a plate... What if it's in a bowl? On a platter? Smothered in clam sauce? What.

And we leave to commercial with Henderson telling Jack that he's gotta find Bierko soon. DUH! And what kind of a help are you? Just made a deal with the devil's pool boy and you've got nothing? At least not right away? Great. Grrrreat!

Some ass commented on the podcast page about how if I didn't have so much personal commentary that I'd have better ratings. I don't have ratings. And yes. That's wear I choose to argue. What kind of a comment is that? I should have a comment page and a smart-ass comment page. I'm happy for every person who listens...

4:29 We gonna have the sunrise shot today or next week? Jack's got names from Henderson. And Audrey's got the puffy shirt from Seinfeld! That's nasty. She's back to help get Bierko. And now we're back in the first season with Audrey pissed that Henderson's got immunity. JESUS, if these people would just LOOK at what Jack's had to compromise over the past 5 days...

We've got the next thread to pursue. But Henderson doesn't think bringing him in is a good idea. And now he wants to go in and get the info himself!?! Like that's gonna happen!?! And Bill and Karen HAyes Hughes think it's a go!?! Jesus. And they're sending Jack with them. Of course. It's his show!

Nut Job smoking a cigarrette outside the ranch. See car drive up. Somehow this one is interesting. And it's driven by the nasty SS agent who has a gun with a SILENCER ON! And now there's Aaron! Aaron tries to talk the guy out of it...like that's a possibility. This is all under the presumption that this guy isn't affected by the men who wear hats?!?!

The good thing about being a nutjob is that you can put your own life in danger without thinking about it. And fight! And somehow she got the fucking gun and shot the guy!?!? Also, she just happens to be wearing black "I'm about to commit a crime" gloves. Aaron somehow got hurt further and Nut Job is clinging to him. Ooo, clinging. That was weird.

4:40 SUVs driving. Curtis in the front seat. And he tells them where they are. Again... all the guy is is a map boy!?! Calling NAACP!

Jack and Henderson push gravitas at each other. And now Henderson can't wear a wire. That's great. Deal with the devil's pool boy. He's got 10 minutes to get this new character to talk... yeah. If anything, we know he won't escape because there's not enough time to capture him again. Took us 16 hours or so to get him in the first place. Looks like Jack's gonna play crow to this conversation. Climbing the telephone poll. Okay, good. He's not gonna do an Animal House.

henderson gets digitally searched. Does that thing read body fat percentage too? The guy looks a little heavy in the jacket.

And Henderon's gonna fuck things up. He tells the guy EVERYTHING! What the hell!?!? Sorry, this isn't surprising at all. New character erasing shit. CTU agents blow door...knob. Curtis gets three seconds of screen time. Jack plays monkey and climbs down from the roof.

CTU has an official "jump through glass guy." Curtis got hurt! And it looks like it REALLY hurts! What the hell! Henderson plays it like he meant to do all of this!?! Woulda been nice to know this BEFORE! Chopper to new character's place. And Curtis is being brought in because of the gun shot wound. Dude, this is becoming a SERIOUS grudge of mine.

I'm not really feelin' the episode tonight. Don't know why. Just not into it since the first few minutes with Miles getting choked. Hee-hee. Still thinking about that makes me smile.

4:48 or something. Aaron up against the wall. Still calling NutJob mam. JACK'S DAD! I'm telling you! Apparently we've got to hide Aaron's existence now. Pretend Aaron's dead. Aaron tells Nut Job to go and tell Novick everything. They're going to kiss! Come on! A real GOB Bluth COME ON! no kiss. No nothing.

henderson back into black SUV. Jack to Buchanan. And she's decrypted the files already? And here's the submarine. A Russian submarine. Not nuclear but still a big bang. Henderson going with Jack on the helicopter (again..that was fast and it took them HOW LONG TO GET Audrey back to CTU?!?) Jack talking to submarine guy. Calling condition Delta. 5 bucks there's an insider on the Russian sub that's gonna cold cock this guy.

And bang bang! Bierko kills sub guy. Now they're.... releasing the nerve gas into the sub? And now opening the sub back up again. Bierko's got a gas mask on... okay, so I lose 5 bucks because they've apparently just used the sentox like a loaded gun. Craig Bierko in control of submarine. Ham. No turkey.

Yeah, yeah. They're in control of the sub and it's missles now.

And the promo? Wow.

Dude! I have a blog now!